Murphy’s law If anything can go wrong, it will.

O’Tool’s commentary on Murphy’s law Murphy was an optimist.

The unspeakable law As soon as you mention something... if it’s good, it goes away; if it’s bad, it happens.

Howe’s law Every man has a scheme that will not work.

Etorre’s observation The other line moves faster.

Law of selective gravity An object will fall so as to do the most damage.

Jenning’s corollary The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

Gordon’s first law If a research project is not worth doing at all, it is not worth doing well.

Boren’s first law When in doubt, mumble.

The golden rule of arts and sciences Whoever has the gold makes the rules.

Barth’s distinction There are two types of people: those who divide people into two types, and those who don’t.

Segal’s law A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.